I don't know much about crystal balls or magic mirrors. Ideologically, I'm anti-crystal ball, but my inner poet likes the image. It's more romantic than, say, a blender. The glowing orb of swirling mists, the questions, the xyz factor, the whatever we may become, the could, the will, the would of our future. Definitely beats the liquidating kitchen appliance. Either way, it may not make sense...
What makes a person? A living soul? Clueless, inspired, or otherwise?
Every so often I get asked the question. The big one. Or at least one of the big quandries.
What do you want to do (with your life)?
Does anyone really consider the portent of that question? I mean, really.
Acquaintance, soccer-buddy, great-aunt...whenever someone decides to slam this one courtside, I have to size them up and figure out what they can handle versus what they think they can handle versus what they might really want to handle. The point is - the question's loaded. And I've got a plethora of answers that twist like a tornado through my mind until so-and-so decides to take my temperature and I have to pray for a little internal rescue and relief.
If I had a thousand lives to live...I'd never run out of things to learn and discover, skills to master, places to live, people to know...
I'm never bored, just a little restless sometimes.
But then the more I study and wonder and listen, the more I realize that true comfort isn't about being comfortable, true joy isn't about amusement, and human doings never make human beings.
Sometimes I wonder why I have more than one dream. If there were just one, maybe life would be simple and the questions wouldn't be so uncomfortable. Then again, maybe the plurality is a single dream, a defining one that encompasses them all.
To play a chord that echoes through eternity. To strike it with sure force of faith and be at peace. To love the truth and live faithfully. To not just die for the ideal, but to live for it. Abstract. Concrete. Transitive and intransitive.
Hurricane of thoughts in the crystal ball of my mind. It makes me dizzy. Maybe that's why I like dancing. At least I keep moving.
1 comment:
brilliant. if this is rambling, i think you should do it more often.
to that question i sometimes consider answering, "well, i have been considering becoming an ascetic monk and moving to tibet so i can rock one of those hot saffron robes." well, that might be a stretch. but i do consider at least a witty retort.
having one dream would be simple, and, sometimes, i even wish for it. but there is something conforting in knowing that defining oneself is sometimes just a system of "irreducible complexity" and that the possibilities that come from our muddle of interests and passions are endless.
enough waxing philosophic for me. i think i may need to lay down. its dead week and my capacites are low, low, low.
we should talk. sooner than later.
peas.
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